What is a Good Life? #115
To Fully Integrate Our Spiritual Lives with Ariane de Bonvoisin
On the 115th episode of the What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to introduce our guest, Ariane de Bonvoisin. Ariane is a global soul, having lived in a dozen countries on 4 continents. She is a mother to her son Everest, a wife to her beloved, Alfie, and a dog-mom to her golden retriever Waffle. She has worked in venture capital, the music industry, launched her own start up, was a management consultant a very long time ago and now loves coaching CEO’s, founders, athletes and being a confidante for their professional and personal journeys. She is also a published author of many books, including her bestseller, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier, which has been translated in a dozen languages.
She has been a keynote at many conferences including Oprah's, been invited to speak at places like Amazon, Google and the World Bank and also co-created a best-selling game called KidQuest with her son. She has been a world class swimmer and a ski instructor. She was also part of an award-winning documentary called The Highest Pass—a motorcycle journey through the highest roads in the Himalayas.
In this captivating conversation, we explore how to fully integrate our spiritual lives, paying attention to our intuition, and ultimately embracing self-acceptance and the present moment.
The weekly clip from the podcast (5 mins), my weekly reflection (2 mins), the full podcast (59 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip from the Podcast
2. My weekly reflection
There is an image Ariane shares in the clip above that I found to be stunningly insightful.
At the time, she is overseeing a $500 million fund for investing in start-ups. She’s engaged, living in a loft in New York, and taking great care of her physical health through nutrition and exercise—yet she is breaking out with eczema.
She has started to hear her intuition each morning, it speaks louder and louder. She knows she’s in the wrong job, the wrong relationship.
She realises she is allergic to her own life, her own choices.
One day, the inflammation becomes so severe that she walks herself to the hospital. And she thinks, “This is insane. I have this unbelievably perfect life that people would die for, and here I am with two drips in a hospital by myself.”
At that moment, she realises she has to make some big decisions.
This image—and the broader idea of a “perfect life” or the belief that someone might “have it all”—is deeply revealing. Our minds and culture seem to have decided for us what success is, what we should be aiming for. And regardless of how we actually feel within that picture, we tell ourselves we should be happy.
It’s the image of life, not the experience of it.
I sense that clinging to this image is what keeps so many of us trapped.
As Ariane mentioned, she could have simply applied cortisone cream, suppressed the symptoms, and carried on with her “perfect” life. In many ways, I sense that’s exactly what most people do. Whether through consumption, alcohol, prescription drugs, other drugs, social media, food, gaming, porn, or gambling—there are countless ways to numb ourselves and sustain the illusion of an ideal life.
Yet, I see very few people who genuinely seem to be thriving within it, who relish their life or getting up in the morning. Isn’t that noteworthy?
Many people have no choice. This isn’t about judgment. Others, who might have some flexibility, are so caught up in the speed and demands of this life—what they must buy, provide, and achieve—that they have no time or space to check in with how they truly feel.
Once we step on the carousel it moves so fast that it is hard to get off.
This phrase I’m finding increasingly strange, one that remains largely unexamined: “They have it all.”
And yet, time and again, we hear of people who seem to “have it all” and are deeply unfulfilled. And we’re puzzled—because they have it all.
People may even feel guilty for their discontent, believing they should be happy. Yet something within them feels different. And still, we continue using the phrase, unquestioned.
I see that it carries many falsehoods, continually exposing the emptiness of our pursuits.
Sometimes, it refers to fame. More often, it refers to money, houses, and cars—without any mention of the quality of a person’s lived experience. It frequently includes having a partner and children, and the more beautiful they are, the more someone may “have it all.”
But what is left out? The depth of connection between family members or partners. How they feel in each other’s presence. How much attention they pay each other. How they communicate. The atmosphere within their home.
Just a series of one-dimensional boxes to tick.
Do you see how shallow this is? Not shallow as in superficial, but in how it lacks nuance, perception, and depth—how it fails to capture what life actually feels like.
How far we have strayed from what truly matters, that “having it all” doesn’t simply mean someone is content, connected—to themselves, to others, to the world around them.
It reminds me of a story a man told me of his schooldays: A teacher once asked him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
He replied, “Happy.”
And the teacher said, “That’s not a real ambition.”
For me, it’s clear—we must start questioning the madness of this culture if we are ever to feel the true sense of living a good life.
To explore one-on-one coaching with me
3. Full Episode - To Fully Integrate Our Spiritual Lives with Ariane de Bonvoisin - What is a Good Life? #115
4. This week’s Questions
When does your intuition speak the loudest, and is there something it’s telling you that you might be ignoring?
What in your life right now might serve you better if you accepted it as it is rather than resisted it?
About Me
I am a coach, podcast host, and writer, based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed over 250 people. I’m not looking to prescribe universal answers, more that the guests’ lines of inquiry, musings, experiences, and curiosities spark your own inquiry into what the question means to you. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience and more meaningful conversations.
If you’re interested in exploring your own self-inquiry through one-on-one coaching, joining my 5-week Silent Conversations group courses, or fostering greater trust, communication, and connection within your leadership teams, or simply reaching out, feel free to contact me via email or LinkedIn.