What is a Good Life? #107
Holding The Hand Of Love with Ben Bushill
On the 107th episode of What is a Good Life? podcast, I am delighted to introduce our guest, Ben Bushill. Ben is a writer, spoken word artist and ceremony holder. His passion is the remembrance and sanctification of our human lives as we try to understand our place and our belonging in the vast unfolding web of existence. In his work as a poet he aims to bring us to the place where we can be grateful and humble before the truth of our undeniable vulnerability and humanity. His ceremonial work with marriages, memorials, ritual and circles of wise love is a way for us to feel and honour the key moments of our lives beyond ideas of religion or alignment. He has been a student of a Sufi mystery school for the last twenty years and is currently setting the foundations for the establishment of a new school.
In this enlightening conversation, Ben shares his journey of balancing the divine and the ordinary, alongside his ongoing inquiry into how he will meet each day. We explore the paradox of being deeply connected to life yet alone, the softening of the heart, and the link between vulnerability, the unknown, and aliveness. We also discuss the expression of our essence in shaping our purpose and the challenges of being human, all the while holding onto the hand of love.
This conversation feels like a love letter to the human experience, embracing its struggles while celebrating its wonder. I suspect it will leave you feeling more at home in your own life.
The weekly clip from the podcast (3 mins), my weekly reflection (3 mins), the full podcast (69 mins), and the weekly questions all follow below.
1. Weekly Clip from the Podcast
📣 Announcement 📣
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2. My weekly reflection
With the exception of posting this newsletter and podcast last week, I took a full week off the internet. I moved all meetings from my calendar, left the phone off, and gave my head a rest from watching any movies, shows, or matches, and from coffee too.
I sensed there was an energy building in me, and I wanted to give it space.
I was also growing wary and weary of how I was engaging with my laptop. Sometimes I assume I have a better handle on screen use than most do, as I usually turn on my phone just once a week at this stage, but increasingly, my behaviour on my laptop, whether when I am working or entertaining myself, seemed more scattered—less focused—and that was tiring me out a little.
It wasn’t a week off work. I came to the office across the road as usual. I had some projects and some writing that could be worked on if energy or spark grabbed hold of me, some books and ideas I wanted to read about more.
Without trying to get in the way of the experience, in some ways, I was hoping that this energy was going to be a big idea breaking through.
But as the week wore on, and I incorporated some fasting into the experience too, it became clear to me, in some of my reactions to situations, that it was most likely fear that was bubbling up in me or maybe somewhat trapped.
As it happened, I chose to read a short book I bought a long time ago called The Pocket by Pema Chödrön, the Buddhist nun and teacher, in which she mentioned that fear is an unavoidable part of dealing with uncertainty.
Then, at the weekend, when I ended my break from the internet, I spoke with a wise friend, who included themselves in this observation, that when they are on public transport and see everyone on their phones, it is almost like they are soothers for adults.
I had this image instantly appear in my mind of rows of adults on the bus or on the train, sucking on their soothers. I thought of myself and my use of my laptop as doing the same.
It made me think more about my relationship with fear over the last few years and how I have not let it really express itself fully. I have often referenced experiencing fear to others, and in some way, I felt I was acknowledging it by doing this. However, in reality, I sense that may have been more of an intellectual exercise or a brief nod I gave to it than really sitting with it.
Whenever I’ve referenced fear in the last few years, it is usually within the context of a bigger picture and then some eulogising of uncertainty and its importance for a good life. In hindsight, I rationalised it or talked it down, rather than simply sat with it.
It doesn’t mean that my views on uncertainty are not true to me or a performance, more that I sense that sitting with my fear, and not explaining it or justifying it in the context of anything else, is something that is calling for my attention.
I am afraid of many things. Regardless of whether it stops me or not from living life as I want to and do.
I have a family to support, and I go about my work in ways that haven’t really prioritised money in the last few years. It was more about it being genuine to me. I feel that how I do that is very important to me and hopefully very helpful in the long run, and yet it creates fear too—sometimes lots of fear in short spikes. I suspect I need to give those spikes more space to breathe rather than simply naming them and clearing them away.
I don’t sense I have to worry that listening to, being with, and expressing my fear (without caveats and asterisks) will take me from my path or my approach to life. I do suspect that it has its own wisdom to share, that will only aid me if I listen to it more - deepening my experience of life and my understanding of myself.
And who knows, it may alter how I engage with the internet too.
3. Full Episode - Holding The Hand Of Love with Ben Bushill - What is a Good Life? #107
4. This week’s Questions
Is there something within you that needs to be expressed without letting it take over?
As per the clip, how often do you find yourself remembering the wonder and miracle of your existence?
About Me
I am a coach, podcast host, and writer, based in Berlin, via Dublin, Ireland. I started this project in 2021, for which I’ve now interviewed over 250 people. I’m not looking to prescribe universal answers, more that the guests’ lines of inquiry, musings, experiences, and curiosities spark your own inquiry into what the question means to you. I am also trying to share more genuine expressions of the human experience and more meaningful conversations.
If you’re interested in exploring your own self-inquiry through one-on-one coaching, joining my 5-week Silent Conversations group courses, or fostering greater trust, communication, and connection within your leadership teams, or simply reaching out, feel free to contact me via email or LinkedIn.