What is a Good Life? #10
Embracing uncertainty
Good day to you all,
Thanks again for your interest in this newsletter.
If this is your first time reading this newsletter, please click here for background information on the project and how it is structured (4 separate sections).
The key theme this week is Embracing uncertainty.
Through following this weekly newsletter, I hope it gets easier to navigate one of life’s biggest questions.
1. This week’s interview – Embracing uncertainty
Each week I share direct excerpts from an individual interview
This week’s interview is with John*. John is an adventurer (he rowed across the Atlantic amongst other adventures), a coach, and a business consultant who talks of the significance of feeling alive, intuition and embracing uncertainty in life.
* Not the participant’s real name
What is a good life for you?
In simple terms, it's when your soul is fully alive and it's dictating the journey we take in life. The more my soul is alive, nourished and having fun, you nearly can't go wrong. I'm biased by my experiences, of some of my adventure trips or of leaving the financial sector - it’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but I wasn't fully alive.
When I get to the end of this life and if we're doing an exit interview at the end of it, I hope I can say, “I went for it, I lived it how I wanted to live it and I didn’t hold back”.
There’s a trust or intuition leading you through life?
Yeah, our intuition / gut, is something that many of us, including myself, don’t fully tap into. Part of it is also being able to trust in the uncertainty that comes with that. There's much that I don't know, and will never know, so I don't try to explain or logically understand everything.
What’s your process for understanding what makes you feel alive?
I try to break it down to what does it tangibly look like? It’s having an intention of how I want to live. Every year I write down in one sentence, what's the essence of how I want to live.
I also focus on my values: courage is a big one for me. I enjoy situations that require courage. It can frighten me and cause discomfort, but that's something I apply to how I live.
Can you recall a seminal moment when you embraced uncertainty and you felt alive?
I remember distinctly being under the boat when rowing across the Atlantic years ago. I was scraping barnacles off the boat, it moved in the swell and gave me a little cut in the forehead and I saw blood drops in the water.
It wasn't particularly dangerous, but I remember thinking, “It's Tuesday, I am in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, 1,000 miles offshore, hanging off a boat - this is living”. I felt part of me was meant to do this.
What have you learned that helps you to embrace uncertainty?
There's a time to be still, to put the brakes on, and there's a time to really go for it. I’ve an amazing wife and kids and meeting the demands of the different parts of me, and my life, can sometimes be a challenge. What I mean by that is an adventurous spirit is an element of me, it's not all of who I am.
Your mood can influence the degree to which you can be comfortable with uncertainty. The more we're looking after ourselves, mentally, physically, emotionally, the better chance of leaning into it.
There are things I want to accomplish, but most of my focus is around; “how do I want to feel consistently? What do I want to be doing? How do I want to show up?”
If I get those in place, great, the accomplishment piece may or may not pan out, but I'm not as worried about that. It's not that I have no attachment to the outcomes, it's to try to loosen that sense of attachment.
Having gratitude for what I have helps me with exploring things that I want to do. Gratitude grounds me so that I enjoy the journey. “I'll be happy when…” is somewhere that I don't go anymore.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour.” - Mark Twain
2. This week’s insight
Each week I share an overall insight from reviewing 100+ interviews collectively
Embracing uncertainty was mentioned by approximately 18% of participants in this project as an important part of a good life. Participants talked about trusting in their intuition and in the mysterious unfolding of life.
When recalling moments of strong fulfilment, a number of participants referenced moments when they embraced uncertainty and overcame adversity, be it moving countries, changing careers or taking on bigger roles.
Embracing uncertainty was key to a number of participants feeling alive, while it was also brought up in response to a future paced question, where participants hoped not to have regrets when looking back on their lives.
“The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” - Albert Einstein
3. This week’s reflection
Each week I share a personal reflection on the weekly theme
Over the last 6 years I’ve lived in 4 different countries, walked away from a lucrative job offer without any plan in place, and started a new career and multiple new projects.
It’s safe to say that I’ve never felt more alive, but to be clear, it doesn’t make life a bed of roses. The short-term trade-off between greater security and embracing uncertainty brings its own challenges.
Like John in the interview, my primary focus in times of uncertainty is on processes rather than outcomes. Breaking down new challenges helps me not to be overwhelmed when in unfamiliar settings.
I regularly ask myself two questions when facing uncertainty, am I showing up to my life and do I trust myself? If the answer to both questions is yes, I carry on, accepting the unknown and discomfort as part of the journey.
Like building a muscle, the more uncertainty we embrace, the more we can handle. These experiences have also led to a significant shift in my mindset, helping me to see the world as full of opportunities as opposed to overly fearing potential future outcomes.
“When nothing is sure, everything is possible” – Margaret Atwood
4. This week’s questions for personal reflection
Each week I pose questions to support your own inquiry into what a good life is for you
When was the last time you embraced uncertainty in your life? What was the outcome and how did you feel?
Can you recall any moments in life that you regretted avoiding uncertainty?
i) What support or foundation would you have needed at the time in order to respond differently?
ii) What would you want to put in place if faced with the same situation again?
That’s all for this week. I’d greatly appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends. I’d also really like to receive any feedback with suggestions for what you would like to see from these weekly updates. If you want to contact me directly, here’s my email and LinkedIn.
About me
I’m a coach, based in Berlin (via Dublin, Ireland). I formerly had a 15-year career in Capital Markets, and for better or worse, I’ve convinced myself that I’m going to make a discovery around human thought / behaviour.